The theme of my life for the past three months, two days and several hours has been waiting. I'm waiting on other people's decisions, schedules and largesse. I'm stretched like the bow and poised like the arrow cocked for flight. I'm ready, eager and willing and yet, I'm still sitting here.
Here's a day in the life of waiting.

7:00 a.m.
Was sitting on the front porch drinking my coffee. Watched a man dragging his traveling golf buggy behind him suddenly stop. He turned and stared at a nearby lawn. There, grazing to its heart's content, was the neighbourhood bunny. The fellow stared at the cottontail for a few minutes as I giggled away on my hidden perch. Big tough guy aren't you? Wonder what else men do when women aren't looking that would make us say "ahhhh."

7:52 a.m.
Watched a woman in a pink T-shirt and black workout pants stride by. And I mean stride. She was no bigger than me, slim and fit; swinging her hips and arms flying akimbo in a pulse only she could hear. I walk every day too. But I don't walk as freely as her. I feel I "control" myself in some way; which is strange because anyone who knows me knows I have little to no fear of behaving outspokenly, outrageously kooky and bolder than bold. So why do I hold myself back with a certain dignity when I walk?

8:47 a.m.
Got a phone call from a friend who's taking off for England next Wednesday. For a year. He's not only one of the closest friends I have, but a business/computer/general life mentor. Sort of like the older, wiser brother and younger, wild child sister routine. For a man who would rather cut off his tongue than be caught whining about something, he was doing a pretty good imitation of sniveling. He's convinced he's forgotten something and I pictured this dignified, be-suited, upper management toff wringing his hands like a fussy old maiden auntie. I said write it down in a notebook. He said I'll forget to look at the notebook. In an instant, the relationship turned upside down and I was in full coach mode reaming his butt off about discipline and organization.
Just goes to show, any relationship can stand a reversal of roles. Shakes things up a bit. A status quo should only govern gravity and the orbit. I'd rather have a deliciously rich, messy, evolving relationship any day.

10:25 a.m.
Lifted weights for 23 minutes. I graduated to 7 pound weights two months ago. Since I can toss them around like bits of fluff now, do I keep ignoring the clicking sounds in my wrists and elbows, or switch to the 10 pounders? I'm ready. Is my body? Not the "weightiest" decision I'll make today, but it's worth considering.

All day
Waiting for the cell to ring. Supposed to hear about a job today. You know, waiting gets old real fast. You can always count on it to be the same, rotten, mind-numbing waste of time it always was. And if you're waiting for someone important to call, you can throw longing and excitement or fear and dread into the pot. You're on a constant epinephrine high and you can't turn your cell off for a breather because WHAT IF THEY CALL? You're afraid to pee cuz it takes 57 seconds from sitting down to washing hands (I counted); you're scared to eat because what if the bread gets stuck on the roof of your mouth; and if you're sharing a house, it's a constant game of hide and not go seek so if the phone rings you can take it in private.

4:25 p.m.
No call today. Nothing past 8:47 this morning. I had a few philosophical musings, a lot of exercise. Was scared, hopeful, patient, impatient, worried and finally, let down.
No friends calling to ask THE QUESTION. Did you get it? Too scared of the answer I guess. No big hearted lover offering to brighten my evening with a Big Mac meal and laughter. Sweet escape and loving voices. They're the antidote of choice of all those who wait. But just like "the call", not to be mine today.

Jack Canfield of Chicken Soup fame said, "Everything you want is out there waiting for you to ask. Everything you want also wants you. But you have to take action to get it."

I asked. I acted. But I'm still waiting.

All I can say for the wait"ee" is....make it quick. Someone's suffering on the other end.
For the wait"or", when they do call, act like it hasn't been torture. Never sacrifice your self-esteem on the altar of someone else's schedule. Just remember; when it's your turn to make them wait....don't.

A dear friend who I haven't seen for several months, drove 70 kilometres out of his way today....for me. I was in Toronto at an interview and he offered to take the financial and physical burden off of me with a lift.

I'm thinking, this type of kindness is so rare nowadays.

I'm in a unique position to tell. I moved out of my home 3 months ago ostensibly to better my life in the long run. Rent was too high and money was scarce. Being "homeless" and by that I mean living in someone's basement till I get on my feet again, has given me a unique perspective on kindness or the lack thereof. It's not that I'm demanding more of it, because I did choose my own destiny; it's just "felt" more keenly when it's given to me or withheld from me.

The friend who drove me today goes out of his way to email me every morning. His cheerful "Good Morning Linda", keeps me in touch with the life I gave up and the people who filled it.

Another friend opens her house to me whenever I need to be in town overnight. I've even got my own key!!! She feeds me. She hugs me. She listens to me. She is my very own cheerleader on Team Linda.

Today in a store, a woman came up to me and said, "I just want to tell you how pretty you look in your black and white outfit and pink purse." She didn't have to go out of her way.

70 kilometres notwithstanding, it's not a far walk from inaction to kindness.
It takes seconds, minutes, maybe a couple of hours. Simple kindness, the most under-rated and least appreciated gesture we can give each other, is as easy as opening your mouth, your wallet, your car door, or your heart.

The very LEAST kindness will do is put a smile on someone's face. The very most it can do is lift a troubled spirit, change a person's day or even their life.
Who wouldn't want to be kind if this is the reward?

You never know when you may need it yourself, so make someone's day today....and the miracle will be, when you do need it, it will be there.

It's tough being perfect. You're sitting there saying, I know, I know. Because we all like to think we're a little more enlightened, a little more lofty than everyone around us....up to and including those we love most.

If I'm so perfect, why did I make my mother cry this morning? On purpose. If I'm so perfect, why do I continually make the same mistakes with my primary relationship?

I go along day after day adding a little more to my knowledge banks. I really try and LISTEN when I'm being given constructive criticism and or warnings about my behaviour. I try to shine myself up a little more every day.

But then a day like today happens and I do a complete 180 and have to babble and apologize and back track and explain and babble some more and I end up throwing the day out vowing to do better tomorrow. Can I use the excuse that I'm human? Or overly enthusiastic? Or tired or fed up? Can I say that some days I need someone to cut me some slack, give me a break, give me a chance, walk in my shoes, hear me out, be good to me, be in my court, be on my side, be a friend, just BE with me; even when, especially when I'm an idiot? Sure. They all work. And they're all true. And tomorrow I'll get up again promising myself to be more understanding and endlessly patient and all those nifty traits that benefit me and you.

In his book The Greatest Salesman in the World, Og Mandino handed me a chart to steer by and maybe it'll help you too. He wrote, "I will persist until I succeed. The prizes in life are at the end of each journey, not at the beginning; and it is not given to me to know how many steps are necessary to reach my goal. Failure I may still encounter at the thousandth step, yet success hides behind the bend in the road. Never will I know how close it lies until I turn the corner.
Always will I take another step.
If that is of no avail I will take another, and yet another. In truth, one step at a time is not too difficult.
I will persist until I succeed."

Og's manifesto is an inspirational blueprint for those of us with the desire to build a better and stronger character; to become a better daughter; a better friend. And if you're someones darling, a better one of those too.

(please visit my Articles page to read "Fit at Fifty", recently published in ezinearticles.com)