There's been a lot in the news lately about charities being ripped off. In Markham last weekend, and in Whitby this week, a couple of jerks overwhelmed with bad judgment and an over-blown sense of entitlement stole monies that had been donated to help under-privileged folks. Not to mention the fake bomb planted at the ROM, throwing one of Canfar's most important events into chaos.

It got me thinking about mercy. How much we allot and how much we withhold. The most encouraging conclusion to this week of black-hearted, malicious mayhem was the outpouring of mercy shown by outraged viewers who rushed out to not only replace the stolen donations, but tripling them in some cases.

Shakespeare wrote, "The quality of mercy is not strain'd,
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest:
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes."

Do you have any idea how powerful you are?

Who in your life needs your mercy?
Who needs that extra special blessing of compassion?
Who needs you to be a bigger man or woman?
Who needs your smile?
Who needs to hear your voice?
Who needs your touch?

Are you withholding your mercy from someone to make a point? To preserve your pride? To show someone who's boss?
When someone extends the hand of peace do you turn your back? When someone apologizes for a mistake, do you rebuff their brave attempt at reconciliation? When someone needs your laughter do you remain silent?

If so, then you have just broken a heart.

THAT is how powerful you are.

This is the season of giving. Give the gift of mercy. Wrap it up with kindness and compassion. There is not one of you that has not been shown mercy by someone. By a parent who forgives you for being a dumb kid even when you're 50. By a friend who has never abandoned you when you're down and out. By the lover who has never turned their back on you.

Show mercy and be twice blessed.

I'm a dyed in the wool, hard core Robin Sharma fan. You know that. But the great man gave me pause this morning when I read his blog. Traveling throughout South Africa, he noted certain "truths" and offered them up in metaphors. I gave a nod of agreement when he said, "....the best way to survive a lion attack, our guide told us, is to run directly towards it. It then thinks you are a predator. Works the same way with your fears: run away from them and they'll get you. Run to them and they'll leave you alone."

I'm all for that. A young entrepreneur who is a fan of my website called me last week to promote her line of inspirational greeting cards. It was a nice surprise to find a thoughtful sample in the mail, personalized inside with a representation of my home page on one side and a nice note on the other. On the front though, it was the quote that made me smile. A fierce one. It said, "The fearless are merely fearless. People who act in spite of their fear are truly brave."

I liked that because I've mentioned before I admire courage above all.

But Robin's next metaphor had me shaking my head in disagreement. In Africa he found, "....one guide had been bitten by snakes 25 times. So much immunity had been built up that now all he suffers is a headache if bitten. Adversity is like that too, I think. The more we get knocked down, the stronger and more immune we get."

I held up my hand and went whoa Robin, back up there a bit.

In the past 10 months I have faced homelessness; penury and illness....but more tragically....abandonment; verbal, emotional and mental abuse; lying; and cruelness, all from people who supposedly love me or to whom I'm important.

I'm stronger for sure, but immune? I don't think so. Every single assault on my good nature, patience and love hurts me fresh every time. And why should I become immune? The reason we have pain receptors in our bodies is to alert us to something that's "wrong". If I fell onto cement and never felt the pain, how would I know to go to the hospital when my brain started to swell with internal bleeding?

We have to remain open to the pain people hand us. Only then will we know what we're willing to accept and what to exorcise from our lives.

I say let your defenses down people.

Or else how will you know what's real and who to trust?

I had two girlfriends. Both no longer women I want to call my friend.
One I had known for 28 years; the other for about 5. The first abandoned me because my current trials and tribulations are outside of her comfort zone and by disassociating herself from me, her safe life can't be compromised. As if I was an infection to be avoided. The second woman wants true friendship with all her heart, but her own experiences with abandonment and cruelty have wounded her to the point that she cannot trust that it exists. She sabotages friendship before it hurts her.

The pain of their betrayal is the kind that doubles you over with grief. But by being open to this pain I made the decision to let them go. When I fight the good fight I only want people who have my back; who will stand beside me, protecting me, fighting with me. If they can't rise above themselves to be with me through the bad times, they don't deserve to celebrate life with me when the good times return.

If I was immune to that type of disgraceful behaviour, I would simply put up with it and continue to be let down by these girls. But I refuse to accept that kind of nonsense anymore. I have around me a solid core of friends who would do anything for me; as I would for them, because their courage for sticking with me deserves to be honoured and appreciated.

It's the same with love.
We've all been hurt. But how do you know your first love was real love anyway? Was it your gonads or your heart strings that were being pulled? Was it the primal call to procreate or would you have walked on hot coals for your beloved? Were they your beloved? What's the benchmark? Were they kind to you? Did they stick by your side through thick or thin? Did they demean you? Did they disrespect you? And so now, by making yourself immune to this type of soul pain, you've shut yourself off from all hope? What if a woman came into your life who DID stick by you no matter what; who IS endlessly kind to you; who NEVER demeans you; who ALWAYS respects you; so what then? How would you recognize her because you're going to treat her with the same distrust, disregard and disrespect that your first wife forced you to learn as a means of protection? Not only are you going to lose her, you've condemned yourself to a very lonely life based on the actions of a cruel person who didn't deserve you in the first place.

So your everlasting, parting gift from behind door number one is a coldness that a thousand suns can't warm. But you're safe now; you're immune. Love can't hurt you anymore....but people, the other side of the coin is joy. You've cut yourself off from joy as well.

All I'm saying is, when the snake bites you, instead of building defenses, walk bravely with an open heart....and carry a machete.