Phil Keoghan is the host of that "amazing" reality series, "The Amazing Race."
The native New Zealander more than walks his talk. In his book "NOW-No Opportunity Wasted", he let's us visit his notion that none of us have to live SMALL lives.

He's a bungee jumping, mountain climbing, parasailing, termite/slug eating, cobra blood drinking, iron man triathelon participant, husband, father and dreamer.

It all started the way most wake up calls come....when you're about to lose something; in his case, his life. He was 19, scuba diving, cut off from his crew and running out of air. Imagine!!! 19 years old with all of it ahead of you and moments from death. Whatever deal he made with the devil or whatever solemn vow he made to God worked because he lived to see another day. And boy has he lived.

Ok. Not all of us are Phil Keoghans. Most of us don't get the opportunity to kiss death on the cheek well before "our time" in our 70's or 80's. Not all of us take even the threat of loss to shake us up. What? You're losing someone you care about? To inattention or indifference....or most heart breakingly, to death. So what? There's always someone else to fill the void. Isn't there?

I've talked about our "throw away" world before and at first glance it seems that someone like Phil and other extreme adventure seekers are jumping from thrill to thrill in an effort to "escape"....because what they've got isn't satisfying enough....because they can't hang on to an experience long enough to savour the richness of it. People like this can come across as flaky and scattered. I don't believe it for a minute. In the acknowledgement portion of his book, Keoghan first and foremost thanks Louise, his "best friend, fellow adventurer, business partner and wife." He thanked his "beautiful and fearless daughter" for inspiring him every day.

This is not a man running away from life and responsibilities. This is a man INVOLVING himself in life in every way. From the heart opening adventures of committed love to life embracing adventures all over the planet.

I'm drawn to people like this amazing man. I've never done a bungee jump or sat down with a tribe of natives in the rainforest or eaten piranha soup (teeth and all), but I'd like to think I'm not afraid of the possibilities of attempting my own version of life enhancing adventures.

I want to take a long motorcycle trip through the mountains, never knowing what's around the next bend in the road, until I gasp with the pleasure of seeing it.
Although skydiving's never off the table, a hot air balloon ride would satisfy my immediate need to float high above the earth.
I'm not a runner but I want to compete in a walking marathon.
I want to perform "Patricia the Stripper" from Chris De Burgh's Spanish Train album on stage, in front of a very large audience.
I'm not into sharks but would love to swim with dolphins.
I want to back pack across Tibet.
I want to give a speech on the same stage as my heroes, Deepak Chopra and Robin Sharma.
I want to go zip lining through the Costa Rican rain forest.
I want to go to the Adult Space Academy in Alabama.

Those are just a few. None of them death defying. I don't need that to FEEL alive.

What I do to honour my life is to always have my foot hovering to take that LEAP OF FAITH. Because that's what adventure and love need. You never know what's going to happen if you take that leap; but you never know what's going to happen if you don't.

I'm taking a mini-vacation for a couple of days. A place where I can swim and GASP, smoke indoors. I brought a few books that I'm using to research content for my next article in Yoga Life magazine.

None of my words seem adequate to express the lovely sentiment I read today. Julia Cameron wrote "The Artist's Way" and has inspired millions to pursue their creative dreams. In a little book called "Transitions" she addresses the challenges that occur when life is filled with crisis and the dream path is not so clear.

I was really touched by the "promise" she offers those beloved by her. She says, "Sometimes we are less a person than a place for those we love. Our hearts are the hearth sought by the lonely. I offer those I love the steadiness of my companionship when times grow difficult and dark. Recognizing that my familiar presence offers comfort and dignity to those I cherish, I stand my ground, rooted in the love between us. As my beloveds undergo difficult passages, I walk beside them. I offer compassion, humour, honour for their strength. I am a loving witness. I am steadfast, loyal and strong for those I love. I light the steady lamp of compassionate attention. My heart is a lantern guide for those I love."

I love it.
To be a "place" for someone to come to. To open your door, open your arms and to be the steady light of love and understanding that casts out the shadows of fear.

BE that place for your beloveds. Whether you're with them or not, walk beside them. Preserve their dignity with your compassion. Throw light into the lonely corners of their lives.

I know stuff like this always SEEMS to be so much work. But I assure you it's not. I remember sending a beloved a handful of promises in a Christmas card one year.
I promised to cherish. I promised to keep an open mind. I promised rest and strength in my arms. I promised to laugh. I promised to cook. I promised understanding. I promised to lighten heavy burdens. I promised patience. In essence I promised to BE that place.

It has never felt like work. It feels like an honour.

"Settle down." "Grow up." "What's your problem?" "Lighten up."
I've been TOLD all my life.
It's all because of this one little attribute I possess, that's in equal parts: scary, unsettling, foreign, disturbing, uncomfortable and LOUD.
It's my passion.

I laugh with my whole body. And I laugh a lot.
I love with my whole being. And I love a lot.
I feel with my whole soul. And I feel everything.

Emerson said, "Passion rebuilds the world....It makes all things alive and significant."

I've never been able to be anything but passionate. Sometimes I hide it. Depends on who I'm with. I've hidden it to fit in. I've tamped it down in front of lovers. I've reined it in to be "cool." I've had multiple and varied disappointments, one after the other this past year. More and more I find myself kicking the ground with my toe and muttering, "I don't care." But I do. I care deeply. About everything and everyone.
Pretending I don't hurts me.

Barbara De Angelis wrote, "Indifference is the enemy of passion. It is the enemy of life. When you say to yourself, "I don't care", you not only cut yourself off from someone or something else-you cut yourself off from your own life force, from that source of love and power inside you. These days, indifference is almost fashionable. To be indifferent is to be cool, to be unattached to what happens, to be truly independent....Indifference is a devious attitude....When you combine indifference with self-righteousness, it responds even more aggressively by making you right and others wrong."

She asks what the source of this indifference is. "Most of the time it is fear-fear of pain, fear of loss, fear of feeling too much. For instance, when we say "I don't care" what we often mean is: "I don't know how to care without getting hurt" or "I wish I didn't care" or "I'm afraid to care because I know that caring will be more challenging to me than not caring", or "I'm angry that I care so much." Indifference becomes the armor we choose to wear, hoping to avoid the pain of not being loved in return, or having to face criticism and disapproval from others."

I could have kicked my own ass today. I did it again. I feigned indifference.
There was a severe weather watch all day in Toronto. I could account for all my family and friends. I knew they were safe; all but one. My beloved. From the moment I got up, a low grade anxiety settled over me. I wanted to text and say, "Stay home. Don't go to work today." But I didn't. That's too motherly. I wanted to call work to see if he got in ok. But I didn't. That's too clingy. I kept telling myself that he's an independent man and doesn't need some broad busting his boys over a small thing like 15 inches of snow and icy roads.

Someone said, "It takes courage to live passionately. When you choose to live with passion, you open yourself fully to each moment and to each situation. You give everything. You hold nothing back. The courage to be passionate....comes from confidence in the strength of your spirit."

Ask me what I'd do if I had the chance to live my day over again? I'd risk the fallout and make the phone call.
If I hide my passion to make someone more comfortable, then I also make them small and insignificant. I can't do that. That just isn't cool. I don't know how I thought it could be.

Shame on me.