About 3 weeks ago I received an email. Don't know what made me open it. I didn't know the sender. Didn't know how I got on her mailing list.

I think what drew me was the first line. Talk about painting a picture!
"Hello Lovers of Islands, Dance, Nature, Relaxation, Beauty, Creativity, Drumming, Silence and Spontaneous Bouts of Frolicking About...."....and there was a link to a website www.ourislandcalling.com
So I clicked and read and was hooked completely. Apart from the fact that I haven't a vacation of any kind in over 4 years, it was the spirit of the retreat that filled me up with the kind of joy that needs paying attention to.

Over the past few weeks I have been in touch with the remarkably talented organizer of the retreat, Julia Ray. She's a woman of vision who's doing her part to, in her own words, "create ripples of healing."

I've already felt the effects of those ripples. Over the past few years my soul has been crying for a release from pressure and worry. Being laid off, with no steady income, not knowing whether MY vision as a coach and writer will be accepted and supported by an already crazily busy and FULL world....in other words....where do I fit in.....has created bouts of stress and moments of torment.

Even filled with the knowledge of multitudes of healing and stress relieving techniques, even possessed of an intrinsically happy nature, I succumb once in a while to fear and doubt. You've heard the expression, "healer heal thyself"? Easier said than done. For those of us involved in the intricate challenge of helping others create and maintain a healthy, happy life, we have to be twice as diligent in the maintenance of our own well being. When you look at me with trust and hope in your eyes, the last thing you want to see is any hint that I am less than together, mentally and emotionally. I have no doubt that even the great prophet Deepak Chopra seeks the loving arms of his wife when it all gets to be too much sometimes. Leaning on each other is neither a sign of weakness or of failure. It's an instinctual need to connect and belong; to heal and be healed.

So hell yah!! Spending 3 days enveloped by nature's healing sights and sounds, surrounded by like-minded people filled with the same sense of adventure and fun I possess, sounds like a dream come true. And bonus for me...I get to contribute in a meaningful way by presenting a workshop of my own.

If you need a bit of healing or just want to chill and have fun check out Julia's retreat for yourself at www.ourislandcalling.com

Some people razzed me about last week's blog. Accused me of advocating changing yourself to suit someone else.

That's not what I meant at all. C'mon.

People who like you or love you have chosen you to be in their life because they accept who you are, MOST of the time. It's like this story a friend of mine tells. He was talking to a woman in Alberta who was mad at her husband. My friend asked if they were having problems. The woman replied, "No, I'm just not liking him very much today. 85% of the time I love him unconditionally....but today is the 15% when I could happily smack him up the side of the head."

Married people and lovers have the toughest deal. There're a lot of expectations regarding behaviours. Punishments and consequences are more severe and the effects are more profound. Zero tolerance is the norm nowadays. That's why I like that lady from Alberta. It's like...."I love you honey just the way you are. I KNOW you have a great big heart, are compassionate and kind, but today I'm going to kick your ass across the ocean for being a jerk to me."

I get that.

However, if YOU recognize a trait within yourself that has caused someone else pain, annoyance, or grief, and that someone is important to you, then dig into your soul and see what they're seeing.

We upgrade things all the time. The key word being THINGS. Our cars and TV's. Our wardrobes and credit card limits. Our knowledge and education.

If you want to go out to a party in 2008, you wouldn't be wearing a 70's style dress.

So what makes you think that the you of 10 years ago, a year ago or even yesterday can't stand a little tweaking?

I am VERY impatient by nature. I remember 20 years ago my family staging an impromptu "intervention" in my parent's kitchen one day. I had this horrible habit when being addressed, especially when I was busy, replying, "WHAT". The tone I can't duplicate in words except to say it was high-pitched, whiny and impatient sounding. They told me to stop because basically it made them feel worthless.

Nobody had ever pointed that out to me before. I was in shock. And then I made myself listen to my sister duplicate it.

That was probably my first experience "changing", NOT to suit my family, but because I didn't like myself when I did it. I mean hey, I have to live inside this skin 24/7 and I wanna like the person who's controlling the functions.

After that experience, I began to take a serious revue of my character traits. What worked, stayed. What didn't work were recycled into more admirable, conscientiously driven attitudes.

I STILL work on it. Every single day. If I can take the time to read a book, brush my teeth, do the dishes, go grocery shopping, have sex, make a cake, watch TV, smoke a cigarette, or write this web log, then I can take the time to work on building a character that is more compassionate, patient and thoughtful.

I fail sometimes, but every couple of days I succeed too.

And before I leave, I'm going to make another suggestion in case you're still having trouble with the notion of "changing". Never once has putting thought and effort into improving myself detracted from my natural spontaneity, cheekiness, boldness, sauciness, passion, adventurous streak or bizarre sense of humour. Character does NOT equal caricature. It simply means being aware that your actions and words can have consequences. They can hurt, annoy or destroy. Or they can soothe, heal or put a smile on someone's face or in their heart.

p.s.

my interview on thatradio.com is now available for listening.
1. Go to Thatchannel.com or Thatradio.com
2. Click on "Podcast Archive"
3. Click on "Women in a Home Office" (you may have to scroll down)
4. Scroll down til you see my interview.
5. Click the green "play" button, or the "Download" link (whatever your choice).

And check out my July newsletter by clicking the link below.